


Don't you forget about me

by Follevolo



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gallavich, M/M, ianxmickey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:40:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1546232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Follevolo/pseuds/Follevolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You will get better. You deserved so much better… And you will have it. Just hold on, ok? It will get better, eventually."</p>
<p>"Fuck you, Mick. I deserved to be loved back. That’s what I deserved. I deserved you to admit that I was important. I deserved you, goddamit. But you I can’t have… So would you just shut up about what I fucking deserve and no, it won’t get fucking better! It just won’t! Every day it’s just worse! And now, fuck, you call me and you say you miss me just cos you are drunk as shit and you think it won’t matter tomorrow, you will not even remember it tomorrow… Do you even think about me when you are sober? I would like to forget you, too. Even just for a fuckin minute. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't you forget about me

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of depressing. Why did I wrote it?   
> I was listening to Don't you Forget About Me and it just popped out in my brain. I'm sorry.   
> It's set when Ian is in the army and for what we know - this may have really happened.

They never talk about it, but of course they remember it. It’s been years, but they will always remember it.

Even if Mick was really really drunk. Even if Ian was really really high.

Mick was tired of lying to himself. Ian was tired of waiting.

Mick missed him like air.

Ian just couldn’t stop loving him.

When he saw his name on the screen his heart jumped in his chest painfully and expectantly at the same time. He didn’t even hesitated: he knew waiting for five seconds or ten wouldn’t have changed anything, he always would have answered. He always would have opened the door to him. He always would have waited for him to come around.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t mad at him, though.

"What do you want?"

Mickey melted at the sound of his voice. He didn’t even know why he was doing this. Like it wouldn’t make things worse… But he was oh so drunk, and it was the first time he conceded himself to be weak. He rubbed his eyes, like Ian could see his tears from the phone. Like he was right in front of him.

"I miss you"

Ian frowned. That was unexpected. He was prepared to some disconnected phrase and colorful insults, little hints of emotion here and there, badly hidden behind the usual Milkovich tough mask. But not a clear, honest, naked truth. He felt tears in his eyes and he hated himself for them. Mickey could still break him with three words.

"I miss you, too" he whispered, cursing himself for being such a pathetic pussy. You should hate him, remember? You should hang up, now. Hang up. C’mon.

"Are you ok, though? Like… Are you safe? You’re not in Iraq or something, right?" Mickey bit his bottom lip, cursing himself for being such a pathetic pussy. You shouldn’t care about him, remember? You should hang up, now. Hang up. C’mon.

"I’m not in Iraq - Ian’s voice was painfully unsure, but he just couldn’t lie to him - but no, I’m not okay."

"Me neither. I feel like shit all the time"

"Yeah well, it’s your fault"

"You could have stayed"

"You could have told me to"

"It wouldn’t have made any difference"

"Of course it would have, dickhead!" God, he was still so good at pissing him off.

"It would have made things worse. You would have gone anyway, we both know it. You wouldn’t have hated me, though, so you would have missed me more"

"There’s no way I could possibly miss you more than I already do"

"Ian…"

"No, ok? Don’t. Just don’t pretend you did it for me. You did it because you are a coward. And I hate you for this, but I love you nevertheless, and I miss you anyway, so what was the point? It is just pain, and pain, and pain all the fucking time…"

"You will get better. You deserved so much better… And you will have it. Just hold on, ok? It will get better, eventually."

"Fuck you, Mick. I deserved to be loved back. That’s what I deserved. I deserved you to admit that I was important. I deserved you, goddamit. But you I can’t have… So would you just shut up about what I fucking deserve and no, it won’t get fucking better! It just won’t! Every day it’s just worse! And now, fuck, you call me and you say you miss me just cos you are drunk as shit and you think it won’t matter tomorrow, you will not even remember it tomorrow… Do you even think about me when you are sober? I would like to forget you, too. Even just for a fuckin minute. "

Mickey sighed loudly, feeling more and more the need to puke.

“I don’t want you to forget.”

“Yeah, well, good for you I can’t, uh? Fucking convenient for you… I’m not here to serve your depressed ego with cheap love declarations, so I think I will just go. Go back to your lovely bride and forget about me”

“I will never…” Mickey heard the click of the closed call, but finished anyway, talking to himself “… ever, ever, forget about you.”


End file.
